If there’s a juice that looks more disgusting than Bolthouse Farms’ Green Goodness, I haven’t met it yet. It’s a vile colour of swamp-water green, like liquid from an algae-filled fish pond blended with lawn clippings. If you were going by looks alone, any sensible person would run screaming from this stuff.
The lesson, of course, is that as nice as jazzy food presentation is, sometimes terribly ugly food is actually remarkably good.
The Pitch: The label lists a load of vitamins and minerals, but the most interesting part of the pitch is how Bolthouse breaks things down. In each 450 mL bottle, Bolthouse claims you’ll find: 1 3/4 apples, 1/3 of a pineapple, 1 mango, half a banana and half a kiwi. How they fit all that into a tiny bottle, I haven’t the foggiest.
The Look: In our home, we’ve taken to calling it Shrek juice. It’s a repulsive shade of dark green that looks utterly unappetizing. There’s no way to get around the fact that this in one ugly juice. And yet, if pitched properly, kids might dig the gross-out factor. “Do you want to be a big, strong ogre when you grow up? Well then, drink your Shrek juice.” Etc.
The Texture: Thick and sloppy, in keeping with the look. There’s some grainy particulate in the slimy mix, too.
The Taste: Wonderful. Sweet, juicy apple/pineapple, with banana and mango (not as noticeable). There’s some other stuff in the background, adding a curious complexity that tickles my taste buds, but the main flavour wallop is apple. Sure, the ingredients list says there are garlic and Jerusalem artichoke somewhere in there, but I can’t pick either of those out.
RATINGS AND DETAILS
Cost: $2.50 on sale for a 450 mL bottle at an Edmonton grocery store. Bolthouse sells larger bottles, too. I found a giant 1.54 litre bottle for $6.99 at the same store.
Value for cash money: For juice, not cheap.
Nutrition?: This is where this juice shines. There are too many nutrient details to go into here, but check the Bolthouse website for a more detailed breakdown. For simplicity’s sake, know that each 450 mL bottle contains 260 calories and 51 grams of sugars (but no added sugar, mind you). It’s all the other stuff that’s important.
The verdict: A tasty, healthy juice with a face only a mother could love.