Arbitrary Food

Review: Blueberry Muffin Mini-Wheats

Blueberry Muffin Mini-Wheats
Mini-wheats suck up milk like a crunchy, edible paper towel. So good.

Kudos to the Kellogg’s Mini-Wheats people for specificity in flavour naming. The easy road would have been to call their new flavour blueberry, but they chose the more precise blueberry muffin. Why? For good reason.

Do they taste like blueberries? Kind of. But do they taste like blueberry muffins? Yes. Yes they do.

Like other Mini-Wheats, the blueberry muffin flavour has one side coated with a crunchy layer of frosting, this time in a purple-blue hue. I wouldn’t recommend eating them straight out of the box, as they’re dry and scratchy on the tongue.

Blueberry Muffin Mini-Wheats
Yes, you can eat them without milk, but I wouldn't recommend it. They'll suck all the moisture from your mouth.

In milk, the flavour is oddly true to life, like a Tim Hortons blueberry muffin crossed with a bowl of cereal. Even though they’re slathered in frosting, they’re not as sweet as you’d think. And they’re not salty, either. It’s a nice taste, not overly artificial, and addictive as hell. Eating 25 biscuits, the serving size listed on the nutritional panel, is about as unlikely to happen as eating half a bag of chips.

Also like other Mini-Wheats, these puppies absorb milk into their wheaty weave without turning to mush within a minute. They hold up surprisingly well in milk, even after five minutes. If you take your time finishing a bowl of cereal, you’ll be happy with these.

There you have it. Finally, a way to enjoy both Mini-Wheats and blueberry muffins in the same breakfast. And it’s probably better for you than the blueberry muffin it replaced.

Blueberry Muffin Mini-Wheats
Blueberry muffin frosting-party on one side, whole-grain business on the other.

RATINGS AND DETAILS

Cost: $3.99 on sale at a grocery store. Expect to pay around $5 or $6 per 540-gram box at regular price.

Value for cash money: On sale, great. Not on sale, less great, but still OK. One box won’t last long.

Availability: The box has a giant “NEW” banner on the top, so maybe not widespread just yet.

Nutrition?: Roughly 180 calories per 25 pieces, not including milk. With milk, about 250 calories. Note that 25 pieces isn’t a whole lot, especially if you have a big bowl. Lots of fibre, some sugar, no sodium, a whole lot of whole wheat, the usual vitamin fortification. For a breakfast cereal that tastes this good, that’s pretty damned decent.

Vegetarian friendly?: There’s gelatin in there. Sorry to break it to you.

Bonus points: The word “crunchlets” in the ingredients list. There’s a first time for everything.

The verdict: Tied for my favourite Mini-Wheats flavour, right up there with the equally delicious maple.

Blueberry Muffin Mini-Wheats
The "New - Nouveau" banner at the top of the box can't help but draw me in.

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