Candy Food Junk food

Review: Terry’s Chocolate Orange

Terry’s Chocolate Orange, a yearly Christmas treat.

In our family, Christmas morning isn’t Christmas morning without a Terry’s Chocolate Orange in each of our stockings. I have no idea why the treat has gained a foothold in our family tradition, but I’m not complaining.

Each “orange” is a ball of orange-infused chocolate that has been formed into 20 chocolate “slices” connected together in the middle, and wrapped in a foil orange skin. In order to easily break apart and eat the slices, one must first “whack” the still-wrapped orange on a hard surface to weaken or break the slices’ connection to each other. That’s part of the fun.

Tasting!

Milk Chocolate: I normally prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate, but in this case, I think I like the milk chocolate variety more. It’s softer than the dark, with the richness of the dairy lending itself perfectly to the sweetness of the chocolate and the natural orange flavour. It’s sweeter from the get-go, too, dissolving into a milky, creamy texture. I’m much more likely to slowly melt the slice in my mouth instead of biting down on it, which is my instinct with the dark.

Dark Chocolate: The dark chocolate orange starts with a waxy flavour and granular texture when you bite into a slice, then gets sweeter and sweeter as it melts in your mouth. By 20 or 30 seconds in, you’re getting the full taste. As expected, it isn’t as creamy as the milk version. The orange flavour lasts long after the chocolate has been washed down your throat. Without the creamy flavour in the mix, you really taste the chocolate and the orange without other distracting elements. (Note that the ingredient list of the dark also contains “milk ingredients.” Curious, no?)

The orange flavour in both is natural, leaning more toward zest than juice. It’s a whole lot like a solid, espresso-less version of a Mocha Valencia, a discontinued (at least in Canada) Starbucks beverage that combined espresso, chocolate, and orange syrup in a single mug of bliss.

The chocolate itself in a Terry’s Chocolate Orange is good, but not spectacular. Just to be clear, what you’re paying for is novelty and tradition, not premium chocolate.

Whacking!

Whacking a Terry’s Chocolate Orange on something is akin to hitting something with a delicious rock — you have to be careful where you let loose. As such …

Good things to whack a Terry’s Chocolate Orange on:

  • Concrete floor. Try the basement.
  • A kitchen counter, preferably near a support that leads down to the floor. Be gentle.
  • A second chocolate orange, held in other hand, while hollering “Hulk smash!”
  • A door frame. Maybe. As a last resort.

Bad things to whack a Terry’s Chocolate Orange on:

  • A wall. These oranges are tough, and you’ll punch a hole through the drywall.
  • Anything that can be dented. Nice dining room table? No way.
  • The paper-thin floor in your apartment, unless you’d like a Christmas visit from your downstairs neighbours.
  • An Ikea bookshelf.
  • Your brother.
A Terry’s Chocolate Orange, unwrapped ... or is that peeled?

RATINGS AND DETAILS

Cost: Found mine for $5.99 at London Drugs. Saw them elsewhere from $4.99 to $7.99. Look for post-Christmas sales.

Value for cash money: A large lump of orangey chocolate for $6. Not cheap, but not an everyday purchase, either.

Availability: Some pharmacies, grocery stores and candy shops. Won’t be around for much longer.

Nutrition?: 180 calories for FOUR SLICES??? That’s insane. You’re not going to be able to eat only four slices in a day. There are 20 slices per orange, each at 45 calories, which means 900 calories for the whole thing.

The verdict: The stuff that Christmas morning sugar-overload is made of. Merry Christmas, everyone!

And that's what they look like before you unwrap them.

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