Gear

Gear: Wooden toaster tongs

 

Wooden toaster tongs gripping a slice of tasty toast made with Alberta's own Prairie Mill bread.

How many times have you said to yourself, “Damn, self. I sure love toast, but I hate accidentally electrocuting myself when I remove a slice from the toaster with a fork. Isn’t there … a BETTER WAY?

Yes, my friends!

These nifty wooden toaster tongs came from a craft vendor at the City Market in downtown Edmonton, and were gifted to NEAROF!, possibly as a precautionary measure due to our lamentable toaster ineptitude. They are AWESOME.

Why You’d Want One: If you use a traditional top-loading toaster, things can get stuck, and using a metal anything to remove stuck stuff from a toaster is just plain stupid. Also, if you’re fond of heavier bread with a hefty specific heat capacity, you may scorch the tips of your fingers while retrieving hot toast from any type of toaster. Lesson learned.

What it Is: Toaster tongs are springy wooden (or plastic) tongs designed for removing hot toast from a toaster. If you can’t figure out how to use tongs, this site can’t help you.

Where to Find: Well, if you’re in Edmonton, keep an eye out for similar things at the City Market on Saturdays in the summer. If you live in Australia and don’t fancy flying to Edmonton to buy $7 toaster tongs, try local specialty kitchen shops, craft fairs or farmers’ markets. You’ll find wooden ones and plastic ones, but if you opt for plastic make sure they’re heat-resistant. Also, um, don’t buy metal tongs. That sort of defeats the purpose.

Happy safe toast-eating, internet!

If you'd like toaster tongs this lovely, you'll have to find the Unique Wood Products booth at the City Market in downtown Edmonton.

RATINGS AND DETAILS

Cost: $7 at the City Market, Edmonton’s downtown farmers’ market on 104th Street. (Gifted to NEAROF!)

Value for cash money: Great!

Availability: Farmers’ markets, craft fairs, kitchen shops, etc.

Nutrition?: No, silly! Don’t eat it!

The verdict: Sure, it’s another kitchen gadget for the gadget drawer, but this one is useful.

Removing a slice from the toaster with toaster tongs. Note the lack of hands being burned.

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