Arbitrary Food

Review: Expired fortune cookies

A fortune cookie and the Real Life section.

Perched atop the highest shelf of the Asian foods section of my old Edmonton Safeway was this gem of a dust-covered box of expired Golden Yuan fortune cookies. See, I’m starting a new job today, so I figured I could use some extra good fortune, guidance and words of wisdom. Cookies, do your thing.

The Pitch: “The answer you seek is in another fortune cookie.”

The Look: The box looks like it came straight from the 1980s. The cookies are all in one large plastic bag inside the box, and are not individually wrapped; eat them quickly or share them with friends.

The Taste: Like a fortune cookie. Light, crunchy, dry, over-baked, sweet, and yeah, maybe a bit stale. It’s the fortune that counts, right?

The Fortunes: A sample of five fortunes released from their cookie containers:

  •  Your success in life will be due to your earnest efforts.
  •  Share your happiness with others today.
  •  Counting time is not as important as making time count.
  •  Your job needs more concentration. Success will be achieved.
  •  Go easy, be moderate and patient.
A Golden Yuan fortune cookie, cracked open to reveal the fortune inside.

RATINGS AND DETAILS

Cost: $3.99 for a box of approximately 25 cookies at Safeway.

Value for cash money: Not bad. Good for sharing.

Availability: In a neglected corner of the Asian aisle of a grocery store near you.

Nutrition?: Per 4 cookies (30 grams): 120 calories, 0.4 grams of fat, 4 mg of sodium, 0 grams of fibre, 2 grams of protein. Also, 10% daily value of iron.

Serving size: I love how the serving size is four cookies. Who the hell eats four fortune cookies in a sitting?

The verdict: Happiness will come to you in a box of cookies. 4 17 19 23 34 46

A box of Golden Yuan fortune cookies. Very, very retro.

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