Jersey Milk is a functionally abandoned chocolate bar.
Yes, it still exists. You can find it without any difficulty in Canada at theatre concessions, in corner stores and in supermarkets. But despite its existence, it’s like nobody wants to talk about it. It hums along merrily without any fanfare, existing on the fringes of Canadian chocolate, still satisfying a niche base of customers who are loyal enough to keep it in production.
Trying to find any information on Jersey Milk is a nearly impossible task. You’d think that I’d be able to find some sort of history or timeline on the internet, but nope. Even the website address listed on the package, www.snackworks.ca, has a logo for the product, but no further information. In an industry that’s dominated by puffed-up marketing and hilarious claims of authenticity and history, Jersey Milk has done some kind of magic in flying completely under the radar. And yet you’ll have no trouble finding it in Canada.
I did manage to find this vintage ad on YouTube, but it trades on nostalgia instead of providing any information about the bar itself. What makes it special? Is there something unique about the chocolate that sets it apart from the dozens of other plain milk chocolate bars on the market? In the most basic comparison possible, what makes it different from Dairy Milk, the far more marketed chocolate bar owned by the same company as Jersey Milk – Mondelez.
But what does it taste like?
Lightly sour dairy melts into caramel sweetness before filling the mouth with creamy milk chocolate flavours. It’s smooth and rich, with a barn full of dairy. This isn’t the sort of bar where you’ll taste the terroir of the cocoa. But eating it one square at a time, letting it dissolve on the tongue, is perfectly satisfying. It’s rich without a fatty mouthfeel.
For the sake for comparison, I tried a Canadian Dairy Milk bar side by side with the Jersey Milk, and I found the Dairy Milk had less sour milk taste and more of a dull hot chocolate flavour and fatty texture that took some work to dissolve. I couldn’t place it at first, but the Dairy Milk reminded me of the chocolate part of that freeze-fried Neapolitan astronaut ice cream that they sell at science centre gift shops.
Price: $1.50 for a 45-gram chocolate bar at Winston’s convenience store in downtown Edmonton.
Value for Money: On par for a chocolate bar.
Availability: Not universal, but still easy to find in Canada.
Nutrition: 230 calories per 45-gram bar.
Verdict: A classic Canadian milk chocolate bar that still somehow exists. Is it the finest milk chocolate in the world? No. But it’s still a good chocolate bar if you’re looking for something simple, without any flashy distractions.